How to Choose the Right Therapist or Life Coach

Photo Credit: Allec Gomes

If you’ve landed on this blog post, you’ve likely typed something like “how to choose the right therapist for me” or “how to choose the right life coach” into your search engine. As a therapist and a life coach myself, one of my core values is self-agency. It is deeply important to me that my clients feel like they have the ability to advocate for their needs and speak up at any point regarding the experience and the direction of our therapy or life coaching journey together.

With that core value in mind, my intention for this blog post is to:

• Support you with choosing the right therapist or life coach for you

• Give you a clear process you can use to determine what kind of therapist or life coach you want to work with

• Offer several questions you might want to ask the therapist or life coach so that you can ensure you’re making the right choice for you
  

SEVEN STEPS TO HELP YOU CHOOSE THE RIGHT THERAPIST OR LIFE COACH FOR YOU

Finding the right therapist or life coach can feel intimidating or overwhelming at first. There are so many options! If you’re looking to work with a therapist or life coach right now, it is likely because you’re facing specific challenges that might have you feeling stuck and a bit raw or vulnerable. Add on talking to a stranger about your most intimate current challenge and…that’s not nothing!

My aim here is to help you feel less stressed, intimidated, and overwhelmed by the process of finding a life coach or therapist by giving you a concise step-by-step process that can help you navigate it with more confidence and trust in yourself. So, without further ado, let’s get rolling:

1. Treat the process like dating.
   At first glance, that might sound weird but hear me out: You’re likely looking for someone with whom you feel understood and supported; someone who inspires you to level up; and someone whose core values align with your own. Just like you wouldn’t settle for the first person you date, it’s important to explore different options until you find the right fit. Compatibility is essential, so pay attention to how you feel during the free consultation. There’s got to be that “spark” between you and your therapist or life coach. If you don’t feel that, move on. This is your time, energy, and money!

2. Clearly identify your personal goals for therapy or life coaching.
   Before booking a free consultation, take some time to sit in quiet with a pen and paper and get clear on what your soul’s goals are for therapy or life coaching. Some potential questions you can ask yourself are:

   — What issues, challenges, or patterns do I want to break free from?

   — What are my short-term goals (i.e. changes I’d love to experience in 1 - 6 months) and what are my long-term goals (i.e. changes I’d love to experience in 6 months - 2+ years)?

   — Are there specific tools, frameworks, methods, or models that I want my therapist or life coach to specialize in (i.e. somatic practices, spiritual practices, EMDR therapy, CBT therapy, DBT therapy, Internal Family Systems, Emotional Freedom Techinuqe (tapping), etc.)?

   — Are there tools, practices, methods, or models that I absolutely don’t want to use or that I know won’t work for me?

   — How will I know that the issues, challenges, or patterns are resolved when I am complete with therapy or life coaching? What will be different about me? What will be different about my relationships? What will be different about my life? How will I think, feel, act, and move through the world?
   
   

3. Ensure the therapist or life coach offers a free consultation.
   In my biased opinion, you should never pay to work with a therapist or life coach before meeting them. That’s like committing to a long-term relationship with someone before even going on a first date. A quality therapist or life coach will offer a free 15 - 30 minute consultation (sometimes also called a discovery call) and will invite you to fill out some kind of an intake form. This is very important because the therapist or life coach can review the intake form prior to your consultation so that you can have a quality, in-depth discussion that allows you both to determine if that professional “spark” is there and if you’re a good fit for each other.
   
   

4. Remember: You are interviewing the therapist or life coach.
   Therapists and life coaches are human beings just like you (hi, I’m Heather, a therapist and life coach, and very much human 😉). There are great ones and not-so-great ones. They do not know you better than you know yourself. They do not know what it best for you — you know what is best for you. Enter the consultation with this empowered mindset and view the consultation as an opportunity for you to interview the practitioner so that you can determine if they are the right fit for you. Here are some questions you can consider to help you make the most of that consultation:
   
   — What qualities I am looking for in a therapist or life coach?
   — Are certain credentials important to me?
   — What are my core values? What core values do I want to make sure my therapist or life coach shares with me?
   — What are deal breakers for me?
   
   

5. Ask about their approach.
   Inquire about the therapeutic models or coaching methodologies the practitioner uses. Listen closely and ask clarifying questions if you feel confused. For example, if they say, “I will tailor the coaching program to you,” you might ask, “How might you tailor my coaching program to help me meet my personal goals?”
   
   

6. Ask about logistics that matter to you.
   If the therapist or life coach doesn’t tell you, ask them what a typical session is like, how long a session lasts, how much sessions costs, if they offer packages, and what their availability / scheduling is. Consider these logistical questions if they are important to you:

   — Are there certain times of day that you need for sessions? Do you require any specific time flexibility?

   — Do you want practices, tools, and resources to immerse yourself in outside of the therapy room or coaching space?

   — Do you want in person or virtual sessions? Does session format matter to you?
   
   

7. Notice how you feel while you’re talking with the therapist or life coach on their free discovery call.
   (Important Note: If you have a history of people-pleasing or outsourcing your power to perceived authority figures, this tip may be especially helpful to keep in mind!)
   
   Your body is an incredible tool to help you gauge how comfortable you feel with the professional coach or therapist. If you feel excited, expansive, energized, peaceful, clear, and/or open during or after the consultation, that could be a sign from your body that the therapist or life coach could be a good fit for you. If you feel confused, depleted, have a sense that something is “off,” or feel a sense of heaviness or contraction in your body during or after the consultation, make a note of that and reflect on what your body is trying to tell you. It could be a sign that the therapist or life coach is not a good fit for you.

You deserve support from someone who can truly help you. Therapy and life coaching is about receiving real, transformational support that fits your soul’s needs. I hope this helps you find the right kind of therapist or life coach you are looking for, because you deserve nothing but the best!

With care,
Heather

P.S. — Did you find this blog post helpful? If so, I’d love to hear from you! Drop me a line here.

P.P.S. — If you live in Connecticut and are looking to work with a therapist or if you live anywhere in the world and are looking to work with a life coach who delivers a high-quality and deeply healing service, click here to book your free 20-minute discovery call with me. 😊